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The Cycle We Refuse to Talk About
When Pain Repeats Itself Everyone Loses
Written By Kendesi Mohammed
I know many women who speak openly and negatively about the men they are involved with, yet remain deeply attracted to them. If a man is physically abusing you, the response should be clear. Call the police. Pack your bags. Leave. In today’s world, nearly everyone has access to a phone, email, and support resources.
My concern begins after that point.
Too often, women call the police, have a man arrested, and later return to the very person they accused. Meanwhile, the man sits in jail or prison, losing his sense of self, his job prospects, his reputation, and often his future. An arrest record follows him for life, even when the relationship resumes and the cycle continues.
I believe adults are free to choose their partners, even if those choices involve risk. If someone is drawn to troubled or dangerous individuals, that is ultimately their decision. What concerns me is how domestic violence lobbying and policy sometimes collide with human behavior in ways the court system is not equipped to manage. Courts are asked to intervene repeatedly in situations where one or both parties have not done the internal work required to truly walk away.
This is not about minimizing abuse. Abuse is real, serious, and unacceptable. It is about accountability on all sides.
There are many good men in America and across the world who are capable of healthy love, growth, and partnership. When unresolved trauma goes unaddressed, people often move from one relationship to another without healing, carrying pain forward and unintentionally recreating harm. Therapy and personal work should be encouraged not as punishment, but as a pathway to stability and clarity.
Men also have responsibility in this conversation.
Stop trying to rescue people who do not want to change. Stop confusing control with love. Stop sacrificing your peace, your freedom, and your future to prove loyalty to someone who refuses to grow with you. Healing requires distance, humility, and often professional help. Men need therapy too. Men need time to heal too.
Until we normalize accountability, healing, and personal responsibility for everyone involved, the system will continue to cycle people through courts, jails, and broken relationships without solving the root problem.
Everyone deserves safety. Everyone deserves growth. But no system can replace the hard work individuals must do to choose peace over chaos.
#TherapyWorks #MentalHealthAwareness #HealingJourney #TraumaHealing #EmotionalIntelligence
Before You Commit, Bring Him Home
Why Women Should Introduce Their Partners to the Men Who Love Them
Written By Kendesi Mohammed
I believe women must return to introducing their boyfriends, child fathers, and future husbands to the strong men in their lives. Fathers, brothers, uncles, and trusted male relatives exist for a reason. Too often, men are hidden because some women fear criticism or do not want to hear uncomfortable truths. But avoiding guidance does not equal protection.
I always say protection is expensive. If you have it for free, take it seriously. Many men genuinely want to protect, guide, and look out for the women in their families. There are good men on this planet. However, there are also men pretending to be something they are not. Wannabe gangsters, pimps, thugs, and drug dealers who use, mistreat, and emotionally or physically harm women.
I do not know a father or a brother who does not want the best for his sister, daughter, mother, or niece. The problem is that we usually hear about these men only after the damage is done. After the violence. After the disrespect. After the cheating. After the abuse.
Women should communicate openly with the strong men in their lives. Allow those men to filter out individuals who have no good intentions. This type of accountability can reduce domestic violence, unhealthy marriages, financial instability, and children being exposed to constant conflict.
I encourage women to stay focused and think long term. Once you become pregnant, you are connected to that person for life. Choose wisely. Align yourself with men who are serious about family, business, faith, and community, and be just as serious yourself.
Safety is not weakness. Guidance is not control. Wisdom often comes from listening to those who love you enough to protect you.
#FinancialLiteracy #FatherhoodMatters #GenerationalWealth
#FamilyTalks #BreakingTheCycle #EconomicEquity #ParentingWithPurpose
Money Talks Start at Home
Breaking the Cycle: How Family Financial Conversations Shape Generations
Written By Kendesi Mohammed
One of the most overlooked drivers of economic inequality in America is not policy or technology. It is silence.
In many families, fathers historically played a central role in teaching children how money works. They passed down lessons about ownership, risk, long-term thinking, and building something that lasts beyond a paycheck. Those conversations created more than income. They created confidence, structure, and direction.
Over time, many of those conversations disappeared, especially in communities impacted by historical disruption, economic instability, and father absence. What was lost was not just income, but generational knowledge.
Today, more than 80 percent of single-parent households in the United States are led by single mothers. Millions of these families work tirelessly, yet nearly one third live below the poverty line. This is not a reflection of effort or values. It is a reflection of structural realities including wage gaps, childcare costs, and the absence of shared economic leadership.
Research consistently shows that children raised without a consistent father figure face higher risks across education, mental health, and long-term economic outcomes. They are more likely to struggle academically, drop out of school, and experience poverty or unemployment as adults. Sons often face increased aggression and emotional regulation challenges, while daughters are more likely to experience relational insecurity and early partnerships. The earlier the absence, the more lasting the impact.
At the same time, research also makes something clear. When fathers are present and engaged, children benefit across nearly every metric. Active father involvement improves social, emotional, and cognitive development and significantly reduces long-term risk.
None of this diminishes the role of mothers. Single mothers, in particular, carry extraordinary responsibility and often provide remarkable stability under difficult circumstances. This is not about choosing one parent over the other. It is about acknowledging that families function best when responsibility, leadership, and knowledge are shared.
One practical solution often ignored is financial transparency at home.
I believe both men and women should have open and ongoing financial conversations with their children and extended families. When money is treated as a shared responsibility rather than a taboo subject, it reduces conflict, builds trust, and encourages families to operate as teams.
Too many families avoid these conversations altogether. Parents shield children from financial reality. Partners avoid discussing debt or long-term plans. Adult siblings fail to coordinate around caregiving and legacy. The result is confusion, resentment, and missed opportunity.
Healthy financial conversations should evolve with each life stage. They should include shared values and goals, budgeting and debt awareness, emergency planning, and long-term estate and legacy discussions. Children can learn responsibility early. Teenagers can learn about earning, credit, and ownership. Adults can plan proactively instead of reacting in crisis.
If we want stronger communities, a more prepared workforce, and children who grow into capable leaders, we have to normalize financial literacy at home.
Economic progress does not begin in boardrooms or government offices. It begins at the dinner table.
#FinancialLiteracy #FatherhoodMatters #GenerationalWealth
#FamilyTalks #BreakingTheCycle #EconomicEquity #ParentingWithPurpose
A Shift in Modern Dating
A Shift in Modern Dating: Why Partnership, Not Performance, Is What Strong Relationships Need
Written By Kendesi Mohammed
For years, public conversations, especially on social media, have pushed a narrative of extreme independence. Many women proudly declared they “don’t need a man,” while at the same time expressing frustration that there are no good men left. But when these same individuals step into the real world of dating, expectations often conflict with the independence they proclaim.
We are watching a generational tension unfold: the desire for freedom without responsibility, partnership without contribution, and love without shared effort. And it has reshaped how men and women view each other.
Contrary to popular stereotypes, most men are not searching for a woman who can “do everything on her own.” Being independent is admirable, but independence, not cooperation, does not build a family, a home, or a legacy. What men are actually looking for are partners: women who bring commitment, discipline, vision, kindness, and emotional strength to the table.
Today’s successful relationships thrive on shared work, shared values, and shared leadership.
Men who are serious about life want more than romance; they want a teammate who understands the long-term mission. Someone who will help raise children with integrity, prepare them for the real world, and create a stable foundation of love, faith, and financial wisdom.
The challenge is that public discourse has turned partnership into a battlefield. Instead of valuing collaboration, many have embraced a performative independence, one that celebrates not needing anyone until it becomes inconvenient. For example, refusing to contribute on a date while claiming self-sufficiency creates a contradiction. True independence isn’t about avoiding participation; it’s about having the strength to contribute when needed and the humility to build alongside someone who shares your goals.
This is not a critique of women, it is a critique of a culture that has confused empowerment with isolation. Real empowerment is the ability to work with others, to compromise, to support, and to be supported in return.
Relationships are not competitions between men and women. They are partnerships that require clarity, respect, and shared purpose. If we are going to rebuild healthy family structures and strengthen our communities, we must move past the narratives that divide us.
The future belongs to couples who build, not to individuals who insist on standing alone while hoping someone else will carry the load.
For men and women alike, the next chapter of love demands something simple but essential: responsibility, teamwork, and a willingness to grow together.
#Relationships #Partnership #StrongerFamilies #ModernDating #CommunityBuilding #LoveAndRespect #HealthyHomes #MenAndWomen #FutureOfFamily
When Parents Fight, Children Feel It First
Why Parents Should Avoid Fighting in Front of Their Children
Written By Kendesi Mohammed
Family life is often filled with challenges, and disagreements between parents are natural. However, the way these conflicts are handled can have a profound impact on children. Fighting in front of children, whether it’s shouting, blaming, or hostile arguing, can cause emotional harm and shape the way they view relationships for years to come.
Children Learn from Example
Children are keen observers. They model behavior based on what they see at home. When parents argue aggressively or disrespectfully, children may internalize that this is how conflicts are resolved. They may struggle to communicate effectively, manage their emotions, or develop healthy relationships as they grow older.
Emotional Impact
Witnessing parental conflict can create feelings of fear, anxiety, and insecurity. Young children may feel responsible for the arguments or worry about family stability. Older children and teens may become withdrawn, angry, or develop trust issues. These emotional effects can carry into adulthood, affecting self-esteem and social development.
Impact on Academic and Social Life
Children exposed to constant conflict at home may struggle to concentrate at school, experience difficulties with friendships, or exhibit behavioral problems. The stress from witnessing fights can spill over into all aspects of a child’s life, limiting their ability to thrive academically and socially.
Healthy Conflict Resolution
Parents should model healthy conflict resolution, even when disagreements arise. This includes:
- Taking a timeout to cool down before discussing sensitive issues.
- Communicating respectfully, focusing on the problem rather than personal attacks.
- Reassuring children that disagreements are normal but will not threaten family security.
- Seeking help from counselors or therapists when conflicts are frequent or intense.
By managing disagreements responsibly and privately, parents teach children invaluable lessons about respect, emotional control, and problem-solving. Children learn that conflict does not have to be destructive; it can be handled constructively.
Conclusion
While every family experiences tension, parents must prioritize the emotional well-being of their children. Avoiding fights in front of children is not about hiding reality; it’s about teaching them that love, respect, and calm communication are the foundation of strong relationships. The lessons children learn at home stay with them for life, making parental behavior one of the most important guides for their emotional and social growth.
#ParentingTips #FamilyHealth #HealthyRelationships #ChildDevelopment #ConflictResolution